


the things that bind us

by paypalprincess



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Mental Health Issues, Self Harm, Therapy, basically Bokuto is bipolar and Akaashi has OCD/dermatillomania
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 13:44:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4879108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paypalprincess/pseuds/paypalprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokuto meets Akaashi at group therapy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the things that bind us

**Author's Note:**

> ok sooo this is my first fanfic and i'm not really satisfied with it but i just wanted to get it out of my drafts
> 
> i do have OCD/dermatillomania myself, but not bipolar disorder, so sorry if any of this seems innacurate/unrealistic!! i'm always open to comments/critiques/suggestions

Bokuto meets Akaashi Keiji at group therapy.

  
  He's paler than a ghost, with sunken eyes and hollow cheeks. His dark hair is messy, and his lips are decorated with torn skin and dark scabs. He's the most beautiful thing Bokuto's ever seen.

  
The first day of group, when Akaashi introduces himself, is a day that is ingrained into Bokuto's mind for eternity. Akaashi's wearing a cream colored trenchcoat with a thick black scarf. Even dressed warm, he looks cold. Bokuto wants to press his hands to the boy's cheeks.

  
Akaashi informs the group that he has OCD and dermatillomania. His expression doesn't reveal any of his feelings, and his voice is steady. It's smooth and rich, like dark chocolate. It sounds the way he looks.

  
After group, Bokuto runs to catch up to Akaashi when he starts heading out the door, following him with a "Hey hey hey!" and a wave of his arms. Akaashi turns.

  
"Yes, Bokuto-san? Was there something you needed?"  
"Y-Yeah..." Bokuto's voice comes out shaky, a combination of nerves and shortness of breath. "Your number."

  
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  Bokuto learns a lot about Akaashi within the next few weeks. He plays violin, he loves reading and cafes, and he has a surprisingly dry sense of humor.

  
It's a while before Bokuto notices the signs of his OCD. It's small things at first; the way he always feels the need to wash his hands immediately after touching any public property as well as the way he can spend what seems like an eternity organizing papers and books and pens.

  
Bokuto notices the stranger things too; Akaashi stirs his coffee exactly 12 times before drinking it. He only sits on the left side of the subway and always has a window seat. He counts the knuckles on Bokuto's hands everytime they see each other.  
Bokuto doesn't mind Akaashi's compulsions. What does concern him though, is when Akaashi shows up with bloody fingers because he's been tearing at his nail beds, or when he texts him late at night after scratching straight through the skin of his thighs.

  
It takes time, but little by little, Akaashi begins to open up more to Bokuto. He calls him when he feels like picking, and when they're together, he sometimes even grips Bokuto's hand.

  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  Bokuto doesn't show up to group the next week. Instead, he lays in bed in the same clothes he's been wearing for three days, and stares at the pills on his nightstand he can't seem to find the motivation to take. He hears his phone buzz several times, but he doesn't get up to check it. It's probably not anything important, anyway.

  
Four days into secluding himself from the outside world and wallowing in bed, Akaashi shows up.

  
"What're you doing here?" Bokuto asks, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Akaashi bites his lip.  
"You didn't show up to group, and then you didn't answer my texts. I was worried about you, Bokuto-san."  
"You shouldn't waste your time worrying about someone like me." Bokuto chuckles, but there's no humor to it. "Just go home, Akaashi." Said male doesn't budge.

  
"I'm coming in." Without waiting for a reply, Akaashi walks right into Bokuto's apartment. He's carrying a container of ramen noodles, which he sets on the kitchen counter before grabbing a bowl out of one of the cabinets.

  
"Akaashi, really, you shouldn't be doing this. I'm not worth-"  
"Shut up and eat your noodles." The dark haired boy shoves a bowl, now filled with steaming ramen, across the counter.

Bokuto lets out a sigh, but he ends up eating anyway.

  
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"You know you can call me Koutarou." Bokuto says one day. He and Akaashi are in the library together. Akaashi is reading, while Bokuto is pretending to be interested in the book in front of him. He's much more interested in Akaashi.

  
"Alright." The response catches Bokuto off guard. This isn't the first time he's told Akaashi to stop calling him Bokuto-san, but this is the first time the boy's actually taken him up on the offer. "Call me Keiji."

  
"Keiji..." A large grin breaks out across Bokuto's face. Akaashi tries to cover his mouth with the novel he's reading, but Bokuto doesn't miss the small smile that graces his features.

  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  Akaashi Keiji tastes like black coffee and blueberry. Their first kiss is rough, reopening the wounds on Keiji's lips and filling Bokuto with much more than just affection.

  
Akaashi winds his fingers in Bokuto's hair, and Bokuto presses his palm to Akaashi's chest. When they pull away from each other, they're smiling like two teenagers in love (which isn't far from reality; they're two college students in love). Bokuto feels at home.

  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
"So, Bokuto, how have you been doing?" Sugawara, Bokuto's therapist, asks. Bokuto likes him a lot; he's the one who recommended he start group therapy, after all.

  
"Amazing, actually. Volleyball's great, I'm doin pretty good in all my classes, and...I have a boyfriend, I guess."

  
"Oh? You guess?" The look on Suga's face can only be described as humored.

  
"Yeah well...I'm not really sure what we are! I mean, we hold hands, and kiss, and talk all the time, that's like a relationship."

  
"You don't sound so sure."

  
"We haven't really defined it or anything yet. We're just kind of...together."

  
Sugawara clicks his tongue. "Young love is so confusing, isn't it?" He smiles gently at the younger male. "Why don't you talk to him about it?"

  
"You're right Suga-san! I just need to ask him out officially!" Bokuto jumps up from his seat and thrusts his fist into the air.

"Thank you for the advice, you're the best."

  
"Bokuto." Suga says, grinning, "Our session's just started.

  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  Akaashi shows up to the park right on time. He's wearing a soft blue sweater and white slacks. He looks absolutely lovely. Bokuto's mouth is dry.

  
"You wanted to talk?" Keiji gets straight to the point. He looks collected, but the way he wrings his hands reveals his true emotions.

  
"Yeah." Bokuto starts, a little breathless. "I wanna date you."

  
Akaashi's mouth curves into an "o" shape, and his nervous fiddling stops. "Excuse me?"

  
"Keiji, please go out with me!" Bokuto presses his hands together like a prayer. "I think you're _owl_ t of this world."

  
"Did you just...ask me out...using an owl pun?" Once the incredulous expression passes, Keiji laughs. The sound makes Bokuto want to melt right through the snow covered ground.

  
"Is that a yes?"  
"I thought you'd never ask. After all, we're practically s _owl_ mates."  
"Keiji!"  
"Koutarou, quiet down, you're shouting." Akaashi's tone is scolding, but he lets himself be lifted up by Koutarou anyway.

  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
"You look good, bro." Kuroo grins at his bet friend, throwing an arm around his shoulder.

  
"You too, man. I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!"

  
"It has been a while, hasn't it?" Kuroo asks before throwing himself onto Bokuto's couch. "What's got you lookin' so radiant?"

The middle blocker flashes his signature cat-like smirk. "You seein' somebody?"

  
"Can't a dude be happy to see his best bro?" Bokuto pretends to be offended. "But actually yeah...I'm dating someone."

  
"Do they know about your, you know...?"

  
"Yeah, actually, that's kind of how we met."

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me at paypalprincess.tumblr.com


End file.
